Brooke CC Home

Evening guys,

Hope your all enjoying your winter off! Meanwhile some of us are still fiercely flying the Brooke flag at the indoor cricket league. With a cobbled together side from across the globe and some players not necessarily being what you'd class "a cricketer" expectations were low. However.....they weren’t low enough. Two games two heavy defeats.

There have been some positives –

Sheehy took lots of wickets in an over once

Pre-game KFC turnout was good this week, 5 out of the 8 players eating with around 20 pieces of chicken consumed.

Tom Wright is now a better cricketer than Ben

We won some money on the itbox at the pub afterwards

Things to improve –

If possible we need to get more people to KFC in an attempt to push our chicken consumption closer to 30 as per our KPI’s

We also need to eat KFC as a team. This week the ordering was staggered and as a result we weren’t able to eat together. If we order together we can eat together and this increases team spirit. We would also be able to get a greater variety of side dishes, we seem to overload a bit on the gravy! (Has anyone considered beans?!)

Dave’s hair...is he here to party or do business? I’m confused and it doesn’t help my captaincy

Ben’s toe! For F**K sake sort it out! How do u mess up growing a toe nail? Sick of it!

Better selection of itbox games to increase our chances of winning

Cricket

Cheers, Habby (The best looking captain in Norfolk)

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The last league weekend of the season was an awesome one for Brooke. Possibly the clubs best ever day, with many events making it outstanding.

Two brilliant stumpings by Hoody and an excellent catch when the skipper failed to respond to a gentle opportunity in the slips (it bounched off his head, just like Brian Close, and in to Hoody's gloves).

Brooke's first streaker. Sadly for the ladies it was Ben 'Godfrey' Prentice. However, we have to start somewhere and hopefully the tradition will become well established.

A brilliant 50 by Daynsey saw the 2s to victory in difficult circumstances, aided by Billy and Ray when they 'mopped up' the St Andrew's innings in classical style.

After some celebrating Vinay went off 'up the city' (as we do say) with possibly the worst haircut ever seen in Norwich. Wrong again. Some of those ponsy articles who cavort around Carrow Road, for more money than any of them deserve, have severe bad taste in haircuts. They would not last two minutes on the pitch at Walsham. Now that would be fun.

The firsts made 304 for 6. The highest league score in our history, acquired without the aid of Simon. How many would we have scored with him? Some brilliant batting from all. Solid start from Alex and Ben, well done boys. Sheehy continues to be a star. Vinay, well. No complaints with 148 off 97 deliveries. A true pro. He was upset at not to making 150! Great attitude - simply the best. He also passed his thousand runs for the season.

Chris B is thinking of becoming an umpire. Can there ever be a better case of 'poacher turning gamekeeper'. At least he knows exactly what to look for!

Lastly, in case anyone does not know. Both teams are promoted as champions. Well done boys, especially Pants and Daynsey, brilliant effort. Now down to the hard work preparing for next season.

End of season dinner - now free to players, thanks to Kevin's (The Bodcentre LImited) generosity. I'll be contacting everyone to make sure you all sign up. Some celebration that night is going to be and a great opportunity to show our gratitude to the community and those who give us such tremendous support. Be there.

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Congratulations to the 1st XI and 2nd XI for gaining promotion!

Well done Captains Panter and Daynes!

Awesome!

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End of Season Dinner.

Brasted's at Framingham Pigot

Friday 26th September

£40 per person to Mr Chairman asap!

Menus

A filo basket filled with Brasted's traditional Prawn Cocktail

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Cannon of English Pork

Dauphinoise Potatoes, Caramalised Apples and a Sage & Vermouth Sauce

Vegetable Wellington with a seasonal Leek & Parsnip Sauce

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Tart Tatin with Ice Cream

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Coffee, Tea & Mints

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Weekend 26th / 27th July

No Sunday game. A day off as Beccles have been thrown out of the league. Umpired the 2s this week, a real treat. Daynsey and Clive batted superbly and there was a nice little cameo from Michael Douglas, before he goes off to make his next film. The Sturmanator bowled superbly, as did Spenny (Ben Kingsley) Jackson. Excellent performance keeps them at the top. They only lost concentration when distracted by the Loddon totty and when Daynsey nipped off for his weekly rest by the trees. Spoons also bowled brilliantly (there you go, I've said it). He also did a stunningly accurate impersonation of Benny Westgate taking a stinger on the fingers. Mind you Richard was totally consistent in that respect. Richard also caused a bit of ill feeling by telling the Loddon batsman who hit a four from his first ball, but had gone for a ton when bowling, that he only needed another 96 to be in credit. Not well received, but we all laughed.

Fine effort by the 1s, who also stay top, with Diss on their heels. Don't relax boys! I gather Habby and the Cushing, Parikh spin attack did well. Bit of a relaxed day for Vinay, only 87 not out, having scored five hundreds in his previous five visits to the crease. The big clubs are sniffing, but they can all get stuffed. Ruth says Ben Prentice owes money at the bar for a round he bought. I think that is very unlikely. Ben, buy a round, what!

Meatloaf at Blickling was out of tune. He falls out of my top ten all time heroes list. It still includes Alan Dennison, Cyanide Sid Cooper, Don Whillans and Jack Scroby (a prize for anyone who knows what these guys are famous for). Last chairman's ramblings for a while. I'm off to Scotland and then to South Africa. Back for the Bradenham game and hopefully a celebration. I've just realised I miss the Biss final, sorry boys.

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Weekend 19th / 20th July

Great team picture boys - don't we all look smart. Pic of the week was in Saturdays EDP of our ground with the mountains of Nepal in the background, brilliant. A big one will be purchased for the pavilion.

Cricket - on Thursday we played a set of Chav lads from Romford. If Britney Spears had been born in England she would have lived in a caravan in Romford. Great set of boys and a great game. We lost in the last over (some our stars threw their wickets away!). Highlight - Barry 'the legend' Gardiner turned up to umpire. Sixty seven years old, not played a game for five years since his heart went dickie. He played - looked absolute class and scored 43 before being triggered. Brilliant. In his football days he was Norfolk's answer to Harry Cripps (a sort of Chopper Harris, but played for Millwall - need I say more?). Football, nasty game, just look at that arrogant, greasy prick Rinaldo.

Speaking of brilliant, what a great weekend. The 2s were rained off at Belton and stay top. The stars were exactly that. Saxlingham made 246 for five. Our fielding and bowling was not really up to its highest standard. Batting, now there is different story. 40 for 3 and struggling. In comes Sheehy (says he is from NZ. We know the truth. He was born in Ipswich. Worse still. Can anything be worse than being born in Ipswich. Yes it can - he is clearly of Irish heritage. An Irishman from Ipwich - horror story). Speaking of Irish. The Prentice boys are now Brooke's best known players. Some young guys in Belfast with drums and flutes have named a parade after them. Anyway, in comes Sheehy to join Vinay Parikh. Game over. Vinay 100 not out, third century in a row, off seventy one balls. Sheehy 105 not out, brilliant. This was the best batting performance I have ever witnessed at Brooke, simply outstanding. I also realised where I have seen Vinay before - looking at some old pictures and there he was. He was the porter who carried my bag when I did the Inca Trail in Peru six years ago. By the way, I should mention the 1s are now top of their division.

It would not be correct to use this website to have a go at anyone. Today I make an exception. Ewen McGregor and that wild eyed, fat prat Charlie Borman. I bet he went to a private school (actor apparently - name a film he's been in - go on). What a pair of dorks. Long Way Down. Who are they kidding - Long Way Up Themselves. Five lads on bicycles did the same route without back up from seventy five Landrovers and carried all their kit.

Finally a note to the ladies of the community. Vinay has decided to sleep in the pavilion every Saturday night. He would be very grateful for any offers of 'company' - if you get my drift.

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Weekend 12th / 13th July

It's Sunday 0630 hrs. You think I need to get a life. The skipper has already done his report for the website on Saturday night! Day off today - Meatloaf in concert at Blickling. All would be perfect until you see the league table.

I want Clive Bennett to have all my babies. Twice he was on a hat-trick, but contrived to drop catches, OFF HIS OWN BOWLING. However, he did get fifty and take six wickets as the 2s cemented there place at the top. By the way, he also ran out John Boy Andrews, without John facing a ball. It was an easy single. Once again John Boy's age is showing big time.

Rick Timm seems the most likely person to marry Vinay Parikh. He is emerging as living god and Vinay is close to that status as well. I am informed that Rick Smiled on the field this week. Another ton from the Aussie/Indian/NZ super star brings it to 296 runs in his last three innings. Stuffing Mattashall was a brilliant performance. Well bowled Habby and Chris Banham.

Next week we unleash another southern hemisphere star, Mike Douglas. Catherine Zeta (The Welsh slapper, of which there are many: Bonny Tyler, Catherine Jenkins and Charlotte the Harlot Church come readily to mind - it must be almost compulsory to be a slapper if you are a woman in Wales. That applies to women of either gender in Wales) is allowing Mike to play next week as a 'like for like' replacement for Rob Dakin, who is on holiday.

My mate in the north says my spelling is crap. I thought I would experiment with idea of using the first and last letter of each word in their correct place and what you with the others does not matter! I gave up it's harder than spelling words correctly in the first place. However - Ray is on hadiloy, aiagn. So ccnahe to paly on good wekcit nxet Sadrutay. Clearly the theory is a lot of old shit. Speaking of which - Sprowston are top!

Finally - date for diary. Friday September 26th. End of Season Dinner. Brasted's at Framingham Pigot. Top spot. Likely to cost around £40 pp. Start saving and be there.

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Weekend 5th / 6th July

Well some weekend. Major plaudits go the 2s. An excellent win at Diss, set up by some superb bowling by Phil Carver and an obdurate 40+ from the rapidly aging John Andrews. It's good to see guys who make an immense contibution to the club doing so well on the field. It's also very rare that a result can be settled by the skipper having a chat during the mid innings tea break. Top job there Daynsy, that assertiveness course was a sound investment.

The firsts lost an excellent game of cricket, also to Diss. Credit to Diss who played really well. For Brooke, everybody did their bit and there is no blame to allocate. Vinay's hundred showed exceptional class, yet another superb effort from the best overseas player that we have ever had. The beauty of it is, he is not a real Australian! We are not really sure what he is, especially after spending Saturday night locked in the clubhouse with Rick Timm. Dudley turned up 'early doors' to empty the bins and was stunned by what he found, causing him to tiptoe silently away. That is not good for a man of his age and propensity. Best we draw a vail over the whole thing. No, lets reveal more. Habby was 21. The self styled best looking man in Norwich was doing well to walk on Sunday. The police say they will not be following up the accusation that he pushed his current girlfriend down the steps at the Orgasmic (I know what you are thinking, but for those who don't live in the wilds of East Anglia, it's a nightclub). As a result he has attracted the interest of Martin Johnson for the England rugby squad who apparently make a habit assualting vulnerable females.

Speaking of the wilds of East Anglia. Horsford's adopted Aussie, James Wild, (amongst many other quality players eg: Spoons and the increasingly rotund Flinty) played in Sundays 20/20 and was able to show that Australians are not as good at drinking lager as they think. That said, Franco did not cover himself with glory when attempting to down a yard of the amber nectar. Not sure what impact regurgitated lager might have on the quality of the outfield grass! Thanks to all who played and worked so hard to make it a great day. At least the rain breaks helped the bar profits! Aussie Tim (another Prahan boy) came down from Skegness. He greatly appreciated the opportunity to discover that not all Brits are either hiding because they shot someone in Nottingham or are over eighty and need a motorised trike to get around.

Enough of a ramble for one week. Tonight is the last under 13 game. Hemsby away. Now if you think Skeggy is odd you should visit this place! Big thanks to Angie and Phil and to everyone who has contributed to running an ever improving side.

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Weekend 28th / 29th June

The season is half-way through. This weekend was as just about as good as it gets. Not least, Ali has gone to the states to teach 'soccer'. He is in with a big shout - this is the nation who were taken in by Borat. We wish Ali all the very best. As he said, New Jersey is getting a 'very special guy'.

Saturday was the most professional performance I have ever seen from a Brooke team. The full package came to fruition. Pants mentions all the classy performances in his report, but a great deal of the quality is based on his leadership and the standards he expects. Brilliant. Vinay's innings was sublime, the highlight, but well done to the whole side. I've already apologised to the Bradenham skipper for my comments after the match!

The 2s continued their winning ways. They are now well established at the top of Divsion 3. Well bowled Rick Hayman, who took an excellent 'swinging' four-for. Mention must also go to the Sunday 2s. They went to Halvergate with all hands to the pump. Shame on those who do not make themselves available on a Sunday, often for some very flimsy reasons. We all need to be part of this and massive thanks go to Jon Williams for leading the side. The team got stuffed, but just wait until they come to us! Highlight; Ollie Stamp is back and fit. 49 in his come back innings. With batting like this he will eventually attract a girlfriend.

We are in the final of the Biss Rose Bowl. This was another excellent win over a gallant Beccles side led by their ever cheerful and sporting skipper. Rob Panter, 131 not out, carried his bat. Then, Vinay Parikh. What a hero, 6 for 24, including a hat trick. The Aussies think this boy doesn't bowl. Shows what they know. I think Borat should go to Australia - it would be even easier for him than in the States. Based on his performance this weekend, I would like to offer Vinay my hand in a civil ceremony, with Elton on the piano and a solo from Boy George!

Next Saturday brings more vital games and the 20/20 on Sunday (hog roast and ice- cream van). Come and support the event and pray for good weather.

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Weekend 21st / 22nd June

It rained on the 2s, so they stay top, retaining their points average. Good old Norfolk League. In theory you can win by just playing one match and having the rest of the season off.

A great win by the First XI. Top performance in difficult conditons and with several players missing. It sets selection challenges for next week, as players return from their holidays etc. The batting was top class. Shame Rick was injured. However, it turned out to be a 'blessing', as we older religious types are prone to say. Ed Sturman fielding as sub. took two excellent catches in the deep. Some questioned if Rick would have taken them. I am certain he would.

Well done boys - another performance that indicated the standards we can set.

PS: So far, no firm offers of marriage have come in for Vinay. I am beginning to worry about him.

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Weekend 14th / 15th June

Magic weekend

Fabulous Friday, followed by superb Saturday. A 'makeshift' lineup, robbed of several players on coaching duty, went to Tas Valley and won a 20/20 game convincingly. Meanwhile the club was invaded by 70 youngsters, aged 7 to 13, and by many of their parents. A brilliant evening. Hopefully good weather will allow us to repeat the event through to September. Congratulations to Jon and Elaine for their excellent organisation.

Next came two exceptional wins on Saturday. The 1stXI waited until the last over to finish off some stubborn Beccles resistance. Pants was unlucky not to become the first player this season to score fifty, falling on 47. We will have to organise something special when someone eventually does get a 50. However, the win leapfrogs us to third in the table. The 2s stay top with a very professional disposal of a strong Cromer side. 248 for 6, with a fifty from Clive Bennett and valuable contributions from all concerned. We were not sure how many Cromer scored, as Roy legged it with the secrets of the score book (the book is kept in a safe deposit box in London between games).

Sunday brings a well earned day of rest (as it should for we relegious chaps) before we get back in Cup mode. Will it be Beccles or Horsford in the Biss semi-final? I hear Horsford are going appeal against their expulsion for playing a mere seven unregistered players in their previous games. They may be successful as the oldest player was only nine.

I'm writing these comments early on Sunday especially for the pupils at Stu Hood's high school. They deserve to be taught something during the first two lessons on a Monday when Stu is usually updating the website. Luckily they are not on the list of schools threatened with closure for failing to get 30% of pupils up to 5 A*- C passes at GCSE level! At least, not yet.

Finally we need to keep Vinay on board. A British passport would do nicely. Three possibilities emerge.

1. Has anyone got a spare passport they don't use? All we have to do is stick a picture in it of that Punka Waller from 'It ain't half hot Mum' (or any other shifty looking Indian bloke)

2. An arranged marriage. This seems to be a very common practice. Offers have come from John Habershon and worryingly from two youth palyers who shall remain nameless (Ollie and Joel for those who want to know). However, Vinay would prefer to marry a girl, although it would be perfectly reasonable to assume he batted for the other team.

3. Are there any childless couples who would be willing to adopt a a twenty year old Aussie/Indian? Vinay's parents have already agreed to this possibility.

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Weekend 7th / 8th June

Nothing on Saturday, all a little on the damp side. It was good to see three players with recent Alliance experience playing in a test (Gareth Hopkins, Daniel Flynn and Ross Taylor), even if not for England. The guys at Downham and Wanderers must be thrilled. Perhaps Naeem will get a game for Pakistan?

Sunday was a day of mixed fortunes. Some spent six hours driving to Nottingham and back - that was something of a 'no win' situation. Not to go would have heralded the greatest upset in test history, with NZ winning from their position at start of pay on Saturday. Turning up guranteed an easy England victory, with evrything wrapped up within the hour.

Acle was very interesting. Our bowling and fielding was highly commendable. The practice is certainly paying dividends. Batting - now that's another matter. Sure Acle and especially Judge bowled well. Even so, we played too many rash shots, when needing to score at bewteen two and three per over. Discipline boys (bit rich coming from me I know). Massive credit to Habby for his effort and well done to Michael Warner on debut. Ali, by his own admission was exceptional and would have won the game single handed, had he not been triggered.

Busy week - Fakenham tonight, U13s on Tuesday and Tas Valley on Friday. Not to mention family cricket starting on Friday, following last weeks delay due to the weather. Onward and upward - victory shall be ours (weather permitting)

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Weekend 31st / 1st June

Great stuff boys, what an excellent weekend. Massive praise to Ben Prentice and Rick Timm, not to mention Vinay's bowling. Daynsey batted superbly on Sunday, carrying on from his very good innings and catch of the season on Saturday. Well bowled to Spencer on Sunday. Sunday Second XI; not just as good, but a very nice day out. The bar maid at the pub was excellent (the Mitchell brothers were in bouncing good health).

Honest boys I did tell Vinay he needed the keeper's kit for Sunday! Last week I picked on New Zealanders. Is there any particular minority group you would like me to mention in future (the Ali Shearer appreciation society, for example).

Best of all, for those who don't know Yorkshire beat Devon in rugby's county championship at Twickenham, watched by the Westgate family. What very good taste they have. I knew all along that Yorkshire would win.

Mr Chairman

Well done to everyone for a great team effort on Saturday at Ingham. After winning the toss and deciding to bat we did well to get up to 202-5. Special mention to the whole of the middle order who contributed well, Timmsy with 47, Sheehy with 35, Ben 'the six hitter' Prentice 47 no and SP with 35no.

Defending the total started well with Chris Banham removing both of their openers, bringing their best 2 players to the wicket. These threatened to take the game away from us but everyone stuck together and thanks to Vinay (4-24) we restricted them to 150-8.

Well done guys......Panter you're fired.

Simon Cushing - 1st XI Captain

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Weekend 24th / 25th May

Sunday 1530. It's still hammering down, but Monty has just taken a couple of wickets against the sheepshaggers (not the Welsh - the other ones).

Both of today's games gave best to the rain - so it's a twenty over mid-week thrash at Fakenham (date to be decided) and the Carter Cup, against Acle on 8th June. So no PJ today. He hopes to be available for the replay.

Saturday was mixed. Great effort by the 2s, well done Daynsey and the boys, especially Rick Timm. Brilliant Rick and well-bowled Spencer. There was some concern at HQ Brooke, when a misleading e mail suggested Spoons had taken the first three Loddon wickets.

The 1s under-acheived. Too many loose deliveries early doors. That said 200+ should not have been too greater challenge on that wicket with such a fast outfield. Another factor not to be forgotten; Bradfield played well and there was at least one interesting decision from an umpire! Well batted to the skipper, who held the innings together. I am confident it's only a matter to time before things come together. There is too much class in this Brooke side for the wins not to come.

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Weekend 17th / 18th May

Saturday was all a bit sad, and very cold. I suspect the 2s have not played so badly for a long time, but read the EDP - they are still top. I'm backing them to be there at the end of the season - no pressure boys.

Over at Saxlingham it was a bitter trial whatever way you looked at it. I look at our line up; we have to be better than we were on Saturday. Bright point of the day for me; Vinay's bowling, what a bonus. For their part Saxlingham look like an overseas short of being a good outfit, well done to them.

Sunday had lots of positives. I think Swardeston batted very well - but so did we. Well done Ali and the Sturmanator. Over at Beccles the 'vets' did really well. Great spell of bowling from Robin Stamp (first class male), a brilliant century from Dainsy and a maiden 50 from Michael Warner, who played some brilliant shots. Onwards and upwards boys. Pant's analysis of the weekend is spot on. Keep listening to what Vinay has to say - difficult accent, but very good advice. (That said, I find him easier to understand than someone from the Fens - some say the Halifax accent is difficult as well!)

Mr Chairman

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Weekend 10th / 11th May

Well done boys, excellent effort. Particular congratulations to Chris Banham for another superb bowling performance and to Ed Sturman for his century on Sunday. Brilliant! Apologies for not being around. I was controlling thirty north eastern thugs in Sunderland for the last match of the rugby season. I can recommend the hospitality!

See you guys at practice on Tuesday. Trust everyone heard about the chairman's superb cover drive at Mubarton last Wednesday?

Mr Chairman

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Weekend 3rd / 4th May

Three out of four ain't bad. What was arguably a weaker than expected 1st team went to Diss and lost. In reality Diss are not really anything like as good as us! Frankly we did not bat well, other than Vinay, who was out to a brilliant catch. Another thirty runs or one more bowler and the result would have been different. Well done to the Prentice boys for stepping up to the plate and bowling well.

These are exciting times for Brooke Cricket Club. 2007 was a real ‘mixed bag’. It was the first Premiership season for the Ist XI, the highest level ever reached by the club. Sadly it ended in relegation. With the team we had, not even ‘Northern Rock’ would have given you money on that! Take note – we will be back. On the plus side we reached two cup finals, a very good effort in the circumstances. The Sunday XI excelled and the Saturday 2nd XI, with skipper Ed Sturman knowing only success, were promoted once again. Mid-week fixtures brought great pleasure, especially for the veteran players of the club. As always, we made many new friends who are eager to return and play at Brooke again.

We continue to race ahead in our off the field achievements. The committee realise we have to get this aspect of development right to underpin future success on the field. Currently progress is incredible. This season sees a substantial addition of land to the ground’s southern boundary (for the geographically challenged – that’s looking towards B ungay). We will also have a new safe play area for our youngest members and visitors. The pavilion has been transformed with new changing rooms, toilets and showers. The next stage will be to improve the bar and social area, which is the challenge for next winter. Massive thanks go to Colin Feltham and Richard Hayman, who have ‘masterminded’ the project, and to club members and local tradesmen for their contributions and many hours of hard work. Once again thanks also go to our main sponsors – Kevin and Donna Elwin of The Bodycentre Ltd and Richard Hayman of John Martin Construction. Their continued support and that of all our sponsors is greatly appreciated. It makes a massive difference to what we are able to achieve.

So, another season begins. Our overseas player for 2008 is Vinay Parikh. Vinay plays his cricket for the Prahran club in Melbourne, Australia and is a very highly rated young player. We wish Vinay ever success during his time at Brooke. Please accept this invitation to come to the ground – watch some good cricket and have a beer. Everyone from our community and beyond is welcome. Don’t forget Friday evening is Junior cricket and family night, the bar is open and the bar-b-cue is fired up. Enjoy.

As always, I must thank Tom Bartram for his continued leadership as president. He, above all others, is the person who makes Brooke Cricket Club what it is today. How does he do it?